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5 décembre 2016 1 05 /12 /décembre /2016 13:49

with an attractive german man

at that time he had other priorities, he also took care about his mother

he used to leave close to Frankfurt am Main....

Well after I saw him, I told him that I find him attractive and that I'm drunk....


...this is quite our conversation went...

..he told me - later - I never had contact a guy like you...

to be honest I thought he wasnt happy, but after I noted he listen what I say. We could speak, sometimes he was frustratet and angry, he also complained in a Radio that "guys" just want to "chat", they dont want more...


I suggested him to move, and he did...


I remember that he said often that he is old, I think I was 31 and he over 45... which is not true, but I understood later, he meant his fanclub thinks he was old and I didnt care

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5 décembre 2016 1 05 /12 /décembre /2016 09:36

I dont understand, people leave scientology and then they complain. One of the first lesson are the "overt (?)"... I obviously understood the reason and the strategy behind, because it's logic. But anyway, they leave and complain, even if they are aware about them ... maybe they feel hurted, dont know.


I left Scientology and never complained, actually they kindly asked me to leave, but I never said a word against them. There are also policies, that explain how to leave the church. In my case, well they were few months. Probably I paid some expensive fees, but I also learned something. It's not important if I use it or not.


The reason I'm thinking about is that is the same with a potential friend or partner, a member of my fanclub. They leave and say all possible negative and wrong things. Not saying that I'm a saint or perfect. But I assume that I have more qualities than bad traits. This is like beauty, you decide what you see. No one is perfect, it is normal that we make mistakes.


I do and did the same, writing about Zurich and Switzerland, it is true they really hurted me. The difference is that few person doesnt mean automaticaly all nation. They are united in case of those situation, they know what I'm trying to say. They only see one side and the fact that you dont belong to them, it is clear that you did something wrong.


I just judge from the fact and experience I had. It is also true, that I always took the justice on my hand, and "punished" the person that hurted me. Why? Because I tried to talk to them, to understand, to comunicate, but never got an answer or they ignored me. So I assume that my emotion are stronger that my understanding and I react. I had no the possibility to give my version, to talk, to explain, to say "I'm sorry". The door was closed. I also close the door, but not after the first mistake. And normally if I close the door, few people come back. Even if I'm pretty sure, also them that dont contact me anymore, sometimes they remember me.


I started to complain after a while. I accepted everything till it was too much. ...Accepted... well pizza, anonym messages, postcards, or whater just to irritate them. I guess I achieved good results, 'cause they dont forget me. I cant compare her situation with Scientology and mine with Zurich. Are not that similar. In my case, they puted me out, they ignore me. I am or was not welcome in their circle. Leah, she left, dont know the reasons, but for sure no one asked her, in all possible way, to leave, to go to hell. Or tryied to damage or life.

I should stop to write about it.  Zurich doesnt like critics, they see them as rebuke. which is not the case.


Anyway I will leave, there are people waiting for me, not litteraly. At the moment there is no one, but I hope to find people that suite better to my imperfections. I dont ask the moon, just want a normal life. To fill the role I'm born for.


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4 décembre 2016 7 04 /12 /décembre /2016 21:27


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4 décembre 2016 7 04 /12 /décembre /2016 18:59

- nicht integriert

- beschuldige andere

- sehe meine Fehler nicht

- bin aggressiv

- ....


die Liste ist lang... ich sollte aufhören zu posten

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4 décembre 2016 7 04 /12 /décembre /2016 18:53
Callie Torres

ich fühle mich schuldig, weil sie ihre Stelle verloren hat. Obwohl mein fanclub sollte sich schuldig fühlen.

in der Serie is sie nach New York umgezogen


sie ist nicht die enzige Person, die entlassen wurde

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4 décembre 2016 7 04 /12 /décembre /2016 15:01

I have to check what kind of Title and Education have the politician Leaders

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4 décembre 2016 7 04 /12 /décembre /2016 10:43
Yorba Linda is small

and boring. I spent all night in LA Clubs...

wanna fly back home. maybe I should sleep a hour or two

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4 décembre 2016 7 04 /12 /décembre /2016 10:16

powerful people do what I say or write.
and no one wants me .... 'cause compare to me they feel loser

there are movies, songs, books, etc about me...

there are also jealous people


how can I change this?

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4 décembre 2016 7 04 /12 /décembre /2016 10:12

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4 décembre 2016 7 04 /12 /décembre /2016 10:04
I like them

they are so beautiful


oltre alle spille, dovrebbero fare anche i gemelli così

I like them
I like them

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