January 20-February 18
The dark side of
Mama was a spy, daddy was a psychopath
Air: Aquarius air is electrically charged and unpredictable. You know the storm is coming; you just aren’t sure when or with what force.
Fixed. Aquarius is the human version of the tornado that carried Dorothy to Oz.
The Water Bearer. Deluge. Flood. Pour-forth.
Uranus, the god of abrupt change, and Saturn, the god of repression and status quo.
Getting in someone’s face.
Channeling Dead House Pets for Fun and Profit.
Resistance is futile
Ankles, permanently twisted from spinniing on their heels and marching out of the room.
'Start the day with a smile, and get it over with.' W C Fields (Born January 29)
If he isn't actually brilliant, an Aquarius male will be at least an innovative thinker who envisions a wonderful future and usually finds a way to make it real. His delightfully spontaneous side will prefer unplanned treks to out-of-the-way places; his practical, respectable side makes him secure and stable. He reads books, is concerned for the environment, and will simultaneously be your best friend and decidedly unconventional lover. Think you see a romantic breath of fresh air heading your way? That panting you hear crashing through the underbrush belongs to a cross between Doctors Strangelove and Frankenstein.
At best, he is an arbitrary, irritable eccentric who lives inside his own head, but is overall fairly harmless. At worst, he's a cold-blooded, cheerfully vile monster who will subject you to endless mental tortures, then watch you crumble with the emotional separation of a psychopath. He may have as caustic a tongue as W C Fields, who called his famous Leo co-star Mae West 'a plumber's idea of Cleopatra'. Or live for years, looking and acting as normal as anyone else, then go out for milk one day and disappear.
A male Water Bearer has delusions of grandeur that would shame a Leo. He fancies himself as the world's saviour, whether the world wants saving or not. And he will not hesitate if he must force his plans for change upon an unsuspecting group.
The Water Bearer is neither selfish nor domineering, but that's only because you will see less of this man than a Sagittarian travelling salesman. He won't physically leave home because his trips are all in his mind. But he will virtually live in the garage or basement tinkering with his latest invention, trying to contact alien life forces, or calling the FBI and offering his services as master spy.
He is fixed air, and like his cousins Leo, Taurus, and Scorpio, he doesn't play well with others. He is as obstinate, tenacious, and attention-seeking as those guys, but he's also ingenious at mind games. It was probably an Aquarius male who caused the legal system to devise the term mental cruelty.
He's twitchy. Most male Water Bearers have a nervous grimace that people mistake for a lopsided grin. His electrically-charged personality makes him the king of snap judgments, endless pronouncements, and long answers to questions you never asked. On especially wild days his mere appearance causes dogs to howl and cats to hiss.
He may be into substance abuse - not to delude himself as Pisces does, but to simply calm him enough to hold a job. And the amount he can take and still function would put any other sign in a coma. He's paranoid. He will keep the curtains closed, the TV tuned to the news channel, and the answering machine in action. He will expect you to report any unusual activities at the food store, or on your job, which he will immediately assimilate into his latest disaster fantasy. He will frequently hold conversations with the person standing three feet behind you, you know, the one only he can see.
Although he loves to roam around the house naked as a lover, he prefers a good book, unless you capture his attention by appealing to his perverse side. The more bizarre you look and act, the better he likes it. Pretending that silver buckle you're wearing is really a tiny nuclear weapon, which may or may not detonate the exact instant he does, will drive him into a sexual frenzy. Strap it around his waist, tell him he's the ultimate sex machine, and you will be set for a night of multiple pleasures.
He's inventive, original, and, when in balance with his Saturn nature, an unstoppable force. Whether yours is a weird-but-harmless genius or a sarcastic anarchist, life with the Aquarian male is as wild a ride as you can get on planet Earth.