November 22-December 21
The dark side of
More than you ever wanted to know about anything
Fire: Sagittarius Fire is a bank of glowing embers. Ist smoldering warmth appears comforting, but try to cozy up to it, and you’ll soon be dodging a barrage of sparks.
Mutable. Has a swinging door attitude toward life the bedroom door.
The Archer. Sagittarius is the hunter of the zodiac. Bargain hunter, sexual predator.
Jupiter. Larger-than-life. Brutally frank. Chronically gauche.
Opening mouth before engaging brain
the one minute Philosopher
Senator in charge of filibusters
Did I do that?
Lower back, chronically aching from being such a pain in the ass.
sagittarius lives in the ninth house of philosophy, adventure, and long-distance travel. in astrological myth, this mutable fire sign is described as a gregarious, honest fun-lover who was born with a philosophical outlook and a yen to wander.
the rotten truth is this tactless, vociferous bore galumphs through the world with one foot caught in a bucket and the other lodged firmly between his, or her, overdeveloped jaws.
jupiter, supreme god of the universe, rules sagittarius, and here this over-the-top jolly joker bestows a restless nature and extravagant personality. both sexes think they know everything and spend their time trying to educate the rest of us.
archers are passionate, not stable. by chasing whatever attracts them at the moment, they often fall victim to their own penchant for vicarious thrills. being born with the greener-pastures gene has skewed their perspective of long-term stability versus short-term sensation. argue, and you’ll suffer a lecture that will make your ears bleed. try to prove your point, and you’ll be left talking to yourself because your centaur will have already jumped to the nearest fence in search of fresh clover.
'My divorce came as a complete surprise to me. That will happen when you haven't been home in 18 years.' - Lee Trevino (December 1)
He's honest, trusting, and eternally optimistic. He won't restrict your freedom, or expect you to drop your nights out with friends in favour of staying home with him. He may have a wry perspective on life similar to Mark Twain's or the diplomacy of Winston Churchill. An Archer wants a companion to accompany him on frequent, spontaneous outings to wonderfully diverse places, because to him, life is to be explored and enjoyed.
Before you decide he's your soul mate, understand that a male Sagittarius has the same attitude toward commitment as does his mythological symbol, the Centaur.
He spends all of his youth and most of his adulthood in continual heat. He is an accomplished lover, but it's the deed he desires, not you.
You no doubt fell for his smile and talent for quoting Shakespeare while simultaneously unfastening your bra. But, as a partner, he makes a great friend, one you won't see very often because his idea of home is a place to drop in when he needs a change of clothes or a shower.
Since an Archer could happily live in a cave for months, eating crickets and contemplating his navel, even if you marry him, you'll feel like you're still single. Don't expect to lean on his shoulder or cling to his arm. Do expect to be his pal (or groupie) and to spend many nights alone.
He's neither jealous nor possessive. In fact, he wants you to have a life independent of his because that allows him more time for drinking beer with his mate and following the football. He is the one guy in the universe who was born to be a bachelor. He won't care how you dress, who your friends are, or where you spend your time, as long as you don't bother him with the details. He's too busy elucidating his latest theory for solving all the problems of the world.
Archers have opinions on every subject under the sun, and cannot answer even simple questions with a plain yes or no. Ask if he wants a ham sandwich, and he'll answer with the history of Earl of Sandwich, the 16 different kinds of bread you could use to enhance the flavour of the meat, and a dissertation on mustard.
Michael de Nostradamus, the sixteenth-century French physician and mystic, had the distinct Sagittarian penchant for expounding on the mysteries of the universe. In typical Archer style, the good doctor's visions were not only voluminous, totalling more than 1,000, but were carefully crafted, allowing endless interpretations.
This ensured that whatever happened, he could be credited with prophesising the event. Only an Archer would be as audacious and irresponsible as to predict events 2,000 years into the future. And only an Archer could do it with such a flair for the art of bullshit.
A male Sagittarius respects authority, as long as he's the authority figure. Question his right to rule and you'll soon understand the meaning of Jupiter's wrath. He has a nasty temper and his volcanic eruptions result in expensive trips to the nearest DIY centre for wallpaper, nails, and plaster.
He's impulsive. Send him out for milk, and he'll come home with reservations for the midnight flight to Peru. He might invite you along, and then again, he might tell you that since you both know he has more fun alone, he bought only one ticket. I
f he does take you, you will spend half your time dragging him out of the local hot spots where he's swapping chat-up lines with the natives and the other half tracking him through the jungle as he searches for the meaning of life. You'll be better off staying home hoping he gets kidnapped by pygmies.
The Archer's favourite game is disaster. Tell him the sink backed up, and he'll flood the basement because he forgot to turn off the water before he tore out the plumbing. Ask him to forgo one of his several nights out with the boys in favour of a quiet dinner at home, and he'll rant and rave that you are smothering his need for freedom.
Even lovable Archer Walt Disney had a dark side. Remember all those endearing fairy tales he brought to the screen? Bambi's dead mother and a raging forest fire. The orphaned Lion King stalked by his own family members. Snow White and Cinderella: one with a stepmother who wanted to cut her heart out, and the other who was forced to become a servant in her own home.
Yours will step on your toes, bore you with rhetoric, and hurt your feelings with a thoughtless remark. After all, he is a fire-breathing dragon. But, this man is more like Pete's Dragon, Disney's character who flops along meaning no harm and leaving little lasting damage.