August 23 – September 22
The dark side of
Everlasting Know it- Alls need love, too
Earth: Virgo Earth is a solid parcel of common soil that provides everything you need in a predictable manner – as predictable as Bermuda grass. Mow it, water it, mow it, water it.
Mutable. Virgo moods swing from nitpicker, to crank, to critic.
The Virgin. In your dreams and their minds.
Mercury, the god of Telling it like it is… whether or not you want to hear it.
1001 steps to total organization
Grumpy – from Snow White and the 7 Dwarves
It won’t work that way
Nervous system. You can always spot Virgo by their raw, bleeding fingernails.
'I'm not afraid to let people know that I'm kind of an idiot.'
Terry Bradshaw (Born September 2)
He's faithful, thoughtful, and cool-headed during a crisis. A Virgo man will be home in time for dinner, help you balance the cheque book, and help raise the children. Whether he's as sexy as Sean Connery, or as silly as Peter Sellers, he will always be by your side. He's conscientious, capable, thrifty, kind, and loyal. Sounds like a real boy scout, doesn't he? Well, he is - the bargain basement version.
Life with a male Virgoan is like being pushed into traffic when you don't want to cross the street. Born with a superior attitude and an eye for improving everything except his own conduct, he is as relentless with his fault-finding as a pit bull locked onto a mailman's leg, and just as unsympathetic.
At his worst, he's a classic chauvinist, dismissing what he doesn't believe and believing only what's convenient to his point of view. His one talent for conversation is a non-stop string of criticisms about every facet of your existence, from the way you wear your hair to your coupon-clipping ability. And he won't hesitate to insult your intelligence by demonstrating just how to accomplish either task.
At his best, he has the kind of predictability that will give you sleeping sickness. He'll expect dinner promptly at six, where you will exchange news of the day's events. Then he'll spend an hour with the children, who will go to bed exactly at eight. Next comes an hour of telling you how to improve your housekeeping abilities. Finally, he'll retire to his home office where he'll spend the rest of the evening mumbling over the bills or developing a plan for your self-improvement.
His character is purely idiosyncratic. Every Virgo has his own peculiar thought process and just as peculiar a speech pattern. Many self-made Virgo millionaires are unable to utter a sensible statement.
Throughout his career, legendary Hollywood producer Virgo Samuel Goldwyn adamantly refused to compromise his search for the finest talent, directors, screenwriters, and technical crews. You can't argue with perfection, and The Goldwyn Touch set a standard of excellence that has been seldom, if ever, matched. Sam also had an unmatched Virgo talent for trying to act superior and coming off as a total goofball.
When his secretary asked for permission to destroy files that were more than 10 years old, Goldwyn said, 'Yes, but keep copies'. He's also credited with such gems as, 'Give me a couple of years, and I'll make that actress an overnight success,' 'If I look confused, it's because I'm thinking,' and 'True. I've been a long time making up my mind, but now I'm giving you a definite answer maybe.'
Argue with yours, and he'll stare at you as if you've just lost your mind, for he can't believe you dared to disagree. Then he will repeat, word by word, the conversation, question, or disagreement that led you to throw the toaster at his head. Soon, you will feel as if ants were crawling through your brain and will apologise just to shut him up.
You can take comfort in the knowledge that if you are determined to force his hand, you can send him to bed with a tummy ache. The fact that he's pretending to be ill, and he knows you know it, makes no difference. A male Virgo will feign anything from a headache to a heart attack if he feels cornered. He's as loathe to confront a situation as is his opposite, Pisces, but where Pisces fears confrontation itself, Virgo fears facing any unpleasantries about himself. Of course, he will expect you to rush to his side with chicken soup and spoon-feed him. If he can't control you with his superiority, he'll try to by appearing helpless.
If you want romance and love songs, choose any other sign (except Capricorn), because you won't find it with this man. Serve him dinner by candlelight and he'll complain he can’t see what he’s eating. He’ll talk a lot about sex and isn’t above leering at the nearest pretty face. However, he’s really not into promiscuity, even the legal kind, except on Wednesday and Saturday nights, unless it’s tax seeason, then revise that schedule to Saturday from 9 to 9:15. He’s so methodical that you can put a cake in the oven and be assured that his buzzer will go five minutes before the kitchen timer.
A Virgo man is nervous, nitpicky, and as selfish as a spinster guarding her assets. Emotional sscenes baffle and alarm him lose control, and even then he will try to orchestrate the outcome. Like Mr. Spock, too much unbridled passion makes his brain melt.